Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Is He Gay, Is It You, or Is It Me?

 This week's newsletter was prompted by an email from a reader who is trying to figure out whether or not her husband is gay.  This is a question that came a lot in my years working in sex shops.  After being asked it the first few dozen times, and each time trying a different approach in my response, I began to notice that there was something connecting each of the askers, even though the circumstances were often radically different.  In each case there was such an intense focus on this one question, and an equally powerful belief that it had one answer, that the second part of the question (which was always "…or is it me") never had room to be really opened up and explored.  At times like these I think I can be most useful by asking questions, and acting sort of as a gentle arranger of time and attention.  So here goes.  ~  Cory

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Is He Gay, Is It You, or Is It Me?

 This week's newsletter was prompted by an email from a reader who is trying to figure out whether or not her husband is gay.  This is a question that came a lot in my years working in sex shops.  After being asked it the first few dozen times, and each time trying a different approach in my response, I began to notice that there was something connecting each of the askers, even though the circumstances were often radically different.  In each case there was such an intense focus on this one question, and an equally powerful belief that it had one answer, that the second part of the question (which was always "…or is it me") never had room to be really opened up and explored.  At times like these I think I can be most useful by asking questions, and acting sort of as a gentle arranger of time and attention.  So here goes.  ~  Cory

Cory Silverberg
Sexuality Expert
Is He Gay, or Is It Me?  

 Is it possible to sleuth out the truth about someone's sexual orientation?  And if you could, who decides if the answer is the correct one?

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