Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Giving (and Taking) Sexual Thanks

Has anyone ever told you that It could always be worse?  How about, There's no pleasing some people. Or, The grass is always greener.  Platitudes that are meant to explain something essential about human experience always seem to come easy for people who don't stop and think much about what they're saying.  And it feels like the modern world is sort of set up for us to never think to much about what we're saying. Certainly the Internet is like that.  Just say it, post it, tweet it, and worry about what the hell it means or what effect it is going to have on others later.  Or never.  Why care about anyone else?  It's their responsibility, not yours.  Right?   

I guess that's "right" if you want to live your life not caring about others.  Life is easier that way.  You have a lot more free time to spend on Facebook.  And I really don't know how many people care about caring.  I think you'd be hard pressed to argue that we're born caring about each other.  Spend twenty minutes with a five year old and you'll know what I mean.  Maybe caring about each other is important not in and of itself, but for the way it allows us to stay connected to each other. Interdependence is something we're born with.  Without help we'd never survive.  That help doesn't entirely go away, and neither does our apparent inability to notice it, acknowledge it, and give thanks for it.   We don't all have the same relationship to the act of giving thanks.  Some of us have been told our whole lives to be thankful for whatever incidental help we have received.  Some of us have been told our whole lives that we have what we deserve, that we earned the help we've been given, or that it was never really help in the first place. Our histories and our losses can make it hard to focus on a single moment of gratitude, but if you've ever felt it, then you know it's not a pain but a joyful and life affirming feeling.  Giving thanks isn't like losing something, it's like getting something new.    ~  Cory
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Giving (and Taking) Sexual Thanks
Has anyone ever told you that It could always be worse?  How about, There's no pleasing some people. Or, The grass is always greener.  Platitudes that are meant to explain something essential about human experience always seem to come easy for people who don't stop and think much about what they're saying.  And it feels like the modern world is sort of set up for us to never think to much about what we're saying. Certainly the Internet is like that.  Just say it, post it, tweet it, and worry about what the hell it means or what effect it is going to have on others later.  Or never.  Why care about anyone else?  It's their responsibility, not yours.  Right?   

I guess that's "right" if you want to live your life not caring about others.  Life is easier that way.  You have a lot more free time to spend on Facebook.  And I really don't know how many people care about caring.  I think you'd be hard pressed to argue that we're born caring about each other.  Spend twenty minutes with a five year old and you'll know what I mean.  Maybe caring about each other is important not in and of itself, but for the way it allows us to stay connected to each other. Interdependence is something we're born with.  Without help we'd never survive.  That help doesn't entirely go away, and neither does our apparent inability to notice it, acknowledge it, and give thanks for it.   We don't all have the same relationship to the act of giving thanks.  Some of us have been told our whole lives to be thankful for whatever incidental help we have received.  Some of us have been told our whole lives that we have what we deserve, that we earned the help we've been given, or that it was never really help in the first place. Our histories and our losses can make it hard to focus on a single moment of gratitude, but if you've ever felt it, then you know it's not a pain but a joyful and life affirming feeling.  Giving thanks isn't like losing something, it's like getting something new.    ~  Cory
Cory Silverberg
Sexuality Expert
Sovereign Erotics: A Collection of Two-Spirit Literature
Sovereign Erotics: A Collection of Two-Spirit Literature  

 Twenty-eight writers contribute over sixty pieces of prose and poetry, fiction and non-fiction to this outstanding collection of two-spirit sexual and erotic literature.

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Why Can't I Orgasm?  
Despite what the expert guides tell you, there's no way for someone to guarantee you an orgasm.  I'm not even sure it makes sense to say someone gave you an orgasm.  Ultimately, to have one, orgasming is a gift we give ourselves.

 

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Sexual Philanthropy  
Sexual philanthropy may sound like a euphemism for a sex act (as in, "would you like to come to my place so I can tell you about my HUGE sexual philanthropic efforts").   But it's much more than that.  If you're looking for a way to spend without consuming, and to give a gift that benefits more than one person at a time, check out these excellent organizations all working to improve our sexual health and expand our access to sexual rights.
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