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 | Lately because of some family health issues I've been getting the question "how are you doing?" more often and with heavier tone from both colleagues and friends. It's interesting to me to notice how I rarely answer the question. Sometimes when people ask how you are you might not answer with any great depth or thought because it's clear the person asking doesn't really want to know. They're just asking because it's something we do. But in this case whether or not they want to know, I find myself offering only the most superficial of answers because I'm not sure I want to know or because it doesn't feel like an appropriate time for me to fall apart. Some things feel too hard to talk about. For many of us sex is one of those things that's too hard to talk about. One of the added burdens is that unlike asking about the health of a family member or about plans for the holidays, sex is one of those things almost no one asks about. Which can make it seem like a very real possibility that there will never be a good or safe time to talk about it. This week's newsletter is all about that, talking about the things we might feel like we can never talk about. ~ Cory |
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What's Your Fetish?
Telling a partner about a fetish you have can feel like an impossibility. For some people the longer the secret is kept, the harder it is to imagine ever sharing it. It feels like the response will be betrayal piled on betrayal. And in the end, what if they give you an ultimatum; the fetish or me?
| What's Your Number?
A much earlier expectation of disclosure in relationships is talking about the number of sex partners you have had. And here too, the question of how much truth to tell, and when, is key.
| What They Think and What You Know
Telling your partner that you want more sex or less sex is hard to do. If they think you're happy with the sex you are having, then this new information may take some time to digest. But consider the possibility that neither of you are happy, and that one of you has to be the first to speak up.
| Sex and Death
How do you talk about sex with someone who spends most of their time talking about dying? This is one of the things that makes asking health care providers questions about sexuality when you or your partner is near the end of their life. But sexuality has a place at the end of our lives just as it does throughout our lives.
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